Just trying to get some sleep
by marivon
Summary: Set about a week after the events in the woods and before Valentine's Day (1x13). Catherine is suffering from insomnia and goes back to Brendan for help - Vincent finds out about it. Also, will Cat slowly let Vincent in again?


**I don't know how much time will have elapsed between 1x12 and 1x13 on the show but I do get the feeling that the ****_BatB_**** writers are rushing things sometimes, condensing a lot of action into one day (so correct me if I'm wrong but Cat tells Tess that Vincent came to see her the very morning they raid Alex's apartment but when she meets Vincent later THAT DAY in the woods, he says: "The other day in the park, you said…"?) **

**Anyway, I felt that Cat needed a bit of time to digest the fact that Vincent wants her after all and his big V-day display of affection. By the way: a flash mob? Really?! Producer's preview made me chuckle.**

Catherine couldn't sleep. She was tired - beyond tired, really. Ever since she had been shot, she hadn't had a good night's sleep. First because of her wound and then because of Vincent.

The insomnia had gotten really bad a week ago, the night after she had gone to him in the woods and managed to drag herself off to the Karaoke bar after to be there for Tess. She had nodded off a couple of times that night, but never for more than twenty minutes or so, according to her alarm clock. As soon as she woke, everything came flooding back. She had worried about Evan, too, but then luckily JT had called early the following morning to say that he was not going to expose Vincent's DNA to half the scientific world, after all. Evan was on Muirfield's radar now, but that was something they would have to deal with at some later stage.

Every night since she twisted and turned, not being able to get Vincent's words out of her mind. "It was never about running off with Alex… My future is with you… I don't want you to move on…" And then there were the worries about Alex: what if she could not handle what she had seen? What if she spilled the beans? What if Muirfield got to her and then to Vincent?

Cat had collapsed onto her bed at 7.45pm after a long shower. She was glad Heather had decided to stay with her Iris who needed someone's shoulder to cry on after her boyfriend had dumped her. Catherine hadn't really had dinner or lunch that day but she was too tired to even feel hungry. And, apparently – she sighed as her alarm clock read 8.35 pm— too tired to sleep. Again. Her thoughts went back to where she had been exactly a week ago, driving Vincent home after the Alex debacle.

"Come on, Cat, get a grip! You can't go on like this," she scolded herself mentally. Perhaps it was time to go back to Dr. Hines – Brendan— tomorrow and tell him about the insomnia. Perhaps he would give her those sleeping pills he had suggested she should take weeks ago. She desperately needed a good night's sleep. Like, right now. She could not face another long night of insomnia, panicked thoughts of Vincent and Alex and Muirfield! She had Brendan's card somewhere, right? In her purse which was on the kitchen counter which in turn seemed like half a continent away. Still, Catherine decided to call him and, groggy with exhaustion, she managed to sit up, slip her feet into her slippers and slowly slide off the bed. She started making her way to the kitchen but had to steady herself, holding on to the wardrobe until her head stopped spinning.

After what seemed like an eternity she was finally holding Brendan's card and after three attempts managed to dial the right number. The phone rang four, five, six times. Catherine was about to hang up when he answered. "Hello?" "Hi, Brendan. Hi. It's Catherine," she said. "Catherine who?" "Catherine Chandler, remember me? Bullet wound, in love with the most complicated guy on the planet?" "Oh boy, do I remember you! What can I do for you?" "I was wondering if I could actually get those sleeping pills you suggested to me a while back. I'm really exhausted and I just don't think I will ever sleep again, the way I feel now." "Well, I can get you a prescription tomorrow." "Oh," Catherine said, and her disappointment was clearly audible. "That bad, hm?" Brendan said. "Where are you now?" "Home." "Good. At least you don't have to drive anywhere in your state. Look, I'd really like to help out but I'm at a dinner now and I can't get out of it. It'll have to wait until tomorrow, OK?" "OK," said Catherine, too exhausted to argue.

A few minutes later, she found herself standing in Heather's room and going through her sister's huge box of medication: there were dozens of bottles, vitamins and loads of medication with strange sounding names. But was there something that would make her fall asleep? Catherine shoved the box back into the shelf quite forcefully and as she did so, a slim greenish packet fell to the floor: _Nytol Herbal Night Time Sleep Aid_. It would have to do. Hops, valerian, passion flower. Not stuff you could overdose on, right? Catherine took four Nytols with a big glass of water and brought another four with her to her room. "Go to sleep, Cat!" she told herself. And it looked like the pills were actually working. Perhaps it was a placebo effect but Cat was well beyond caring. She was about to doze off when her cell phone beeped. Squinting because everything was blurry, it took Catherine a few seconds to realize that she had received a text message from Vincent.

_Hope you're doing OK. Meant to come over every single night but I'm not sure you'd be OK with it. And you need to catch up on your sleep. You looked exhausted today. I know I have no right to ask but I might need a favour tomorrow. Please take care of yourself. V_

Catherine wasn't too sure whether she should answer straight away. She had ignored his texts for a whole week. And there had been grovelling texts, a lot of them. Cat had asked JT to contact her immediately if there was any sign of trouble, Muirfield- or Alex-related, but she had not spoken to Vincent since she had handed him his photos and letters from Alex's apartment. She had guessed that he would be following her around, though, and his text confirmed that. She wasn't too sure how she felt about him constantly watching her, but she knew she definitely didn't want him to come over tonight. So she typed: _You woke me. Too tired to even contemplate favours. Ask again tomorrow._ She decided to take the other four Nytols.

She woke up as her alarm clock went off at 7am. Wow! She had actually slept. For about ten hours. And not had nightmares! As soon as she sat up, she felt hungry and while she wolfed down some stale croissants and half a pot of yoghurt she had found in the kitchen, she remembered Vincent's text. What exactly had she said to him? She couldn't really remember and was relieved that she had not been horribly rude to him when she checked.

_OK, V. What favour? _She couldn't bring herself to be nice to him, not after everything that had happened between them. Catherine decided to take a shower and, as she stared at herself in the mirror (still quite horrible bags under her eyes, but she wasn't as pale as the day before!) she heard her phone beep.

_Hope you slept well. Alex asked to speak to you. Can I give her your number? She doesn't want to see me but says she needs to talk to you. Have a good day and please take care._

What did Alex want from her? She had no choice: she had to meet her. To see whether she'd be willing to protect Vincent, keep his secret.

_Fine by me_, she texted back. She was not even going to acknowledge the rest of the text message. She couldn't.

A couple of hours into her shift, Catherine looked up from her desk to see Brendan approach her. "Hey," he said. "Got time for coffee?" "Yeah, it's a pretty slow day and I was getting tired of filing," she smiled at him. When she turned round to grab her coat, she could see Tess grimacing. "Have fun, you two!" Tess shouted, a lot louder than necessary. Catherine and Brendan made their way to a small coffee shop about two blocks away from the precinct. They didn't really talk on the way there and it was only when they had two big mugs of coffee in front of them that Brendan asked: "So how bad has the insomnia been?" Catherine swallowed and said: "Well, I actually managed to sleep last night, after taking like eight Nytols, but I think that before that, the last good night's sleep was a couple of nights before my father's wedding." "And you waited this long to tell me because…?" "Because I'm stubborn. And it wasn't too bad before. And because I don't think it has anything to do with me being shot."

Brendan smiled: "Complicated guy?" "Who else?" Catherine said, returning his smile. It felt good to talk to Brendan. "So I guess you chickened out and never told him?" "No, actually, I did, sort of, tell him that I wanted to be with him and then I was totally going for it, just about to say those three words: 'I love you' – but, you know, I only got to say ' I l-' before he interrupted me and told me that his choice was not so clear. So that's that." "I'm sorry, Catherine. Sorry he chose the other woman. But I'm glad you broke your behavioural pattern and actually voiced your feelings." "Well, a hell of a lot of good it did me, right? And yes, he chose her but then she found out something about him and left him. Which means he's now back in my life and says that he wants me back…" Catherine sighed. Brendan had looked at her intently while she had said all this and then he took out a sheet of paper. Her prescription. "Wow!" he said. "No wonder you suffer from insomnia. I mean, who wouldn't. Here's a prescription for twenty pills. Just make sure you don't get hooked on these, OK? Don't take more than two a day, but try and see if one does the trick first. And if you ever need to talk some more, just let me know." Catherine nodded and took the prescription from him. He went on: "I'll have to write this in your file and I'll have to schedule an official meeting with you in two weeks' time again, OK?"

Brendan and Catherine finished their coffees and he walked her to the nearest pharmacy. "I'm glad you called last night," he said before turning to leave. "I had been wondering how you were doing." "I'm fine, Brendan. Really. And once I get this insomnia under control, I'll be even better. Thanks again. Bye now." Catherine said, smiling, before entering the pharmacy.

While Cat waited for her prescription, her phone beeped. _I need to see you. Alley behind the precinct where we talked about Sina and Mila. Please come._ Damn it! She had felt so comfortable talking to Brendan that she had not watched her words at all, completely forgetting that Vincent was probably following her and that he could overhear their conversation. Which meant that he knew about her insomnia now and also that she was about to say 'I love you' that night at the warehouse. Brilliant, just brilliant!

Vincent was leaning against the brick wall when she entered the alley. Catherine tried to steady her pulse when she saw the hurt look on his face. She decided to lean on the brick wall opposite him. She needed to keep at a distance. "So what sleeping pills did he give you? And why didn't you tell me about the insomnia?" he said, taking a few steps towards her. Catherine drew a long breath. "Vincent, you weren't supposed to hear any of that, OK? It's not a big deal… I suffered from insomnia for months and months after my mother was shot. I've been through it before. And it's not too bad this time round. I even managed to sleep a sound ten hours last night. I might not even need to take the pills. It's just good to have them, you know, just in case. And, just for the record, I told you that I had trouble sleeping, when you came over to be my physiotherapist for like 5 minutes before running off to be with Alex. Remember?" She knew she had hurt him but she didn't care. Vincent took a couple of steps away from her and swallowed a couple of times before saying: "Yeah, but I had no idea it had gotten out of hand since then. I'm sorry, I'm such an ass. And that night at the warehouse…" "We are NOT discussing that night, Vincent. I simply can't…" Catherine whispered, avoiding his eyes. "OK, I don't want to upset you even more…" said Vincent in a hushed voice.

He tried to catch Catherine's eyes but she was intently studying the patterns on the wall close to his left knee, it seemed. "I have to get back to work, Vincent," she finally said, very quietly. "Have you given Alex my number yet?" "Yes, about two hours ago." "Good. I'll let you and JT know what she says." Catherine turned towards Vincent and quickly glanced up into his face. He looked exhausted and before she could stop herself she said: "Looks like you've been suffering from insomnia, too. Why don't you stop following me around for the day and try to get some sleep?" "Yeah… But looks like all I can think about is you. And how big an ass I have been… I swear I will make it up to you, Catherine. I will." "I'm going now, Vincent. Go. Just go home." Catherine could hear Vincent sigh but she decided she had to go. Leave, she ordered herself, just go. Go! Go!

As she was about to step out onto the main street, Vincent raised his voice ever so slightly and growled between clenched teeth: "He's really into you, that Brendan guy – his pulse was racing like mad… and he was undressing you with his eyes!" Catherine froze. It took her a few seconds to compose herself. Then she turned very slowly towards him and said icily: "Sorry, Vincent, after everything that happened these last few weeks you simply do NOT have the right… You don't. End of discussion." She left him standing there, hands in his pocket and his head hanging low.

As she was about to step into the precinct, a bus drove by and the ad banner on it caught Cat's eye. She sighed: with everything that had happened, she had completely forgotten that it was Valentine's Day the day after tomorrow. She smiled a bitter smile when she remembered that in her drawer back home lay a present for Vincent which she had bought on an impulse a few days before her father's wedding when she had been out with Brooke and Heather. It had seemed the perfect gift for him and she had had a warm, fuzzy feeling at the thought of giving it to him on Valentine's Day. But that feeling, along with the certainty that she could trust and always count on him, had vanished into nothing. She had been such a fool to believe that Vincent was only ever going to have eyes for her. Suddenly she knew that she would need Brendan's sleeping pills that evening.


End file.
